25 things i STILL wish I could say..

at work (but these work in regular, day to day life or the internet as well)

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.
2. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
3. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
5. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
6. Ahhh. . . I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. . .
7. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
8. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
9. Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation?
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about your being competent.
11. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
13. What am I? . . . Flypaper for freaks?!
14. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be. . . ?
15. Do I look like a people person?
16. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
17. Sarcasm is just on more service we offer.
18. If I throw a stick, will you leave after it?
19. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
20. Nice perfume (cologne). Must you marinate in it?
21. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
22. How do I set the laser printer to stun?
23. How about never? Is never good for you?
24. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
25. CHAOS, PANIC and DISORDER - my work here is done.