tipsy-doodle doo....

I'm effing bored.. so I'm just gonna blab and blab until you hate me or rather yourself for wasting your ever precious time reading my nonsense blah blah..


- My default mood is melancholy because it makes me appreciate happy-ness greatly. I guest despite being a smiley and touchy-feely kind of person, inside of me, I really am dark & twisted.

- I did not realize that I do have a shattered confidence in regard to my chosen profession until last night when I was talking to a dear friend and the topic was sorta brought up. I.. dunno. I'm havin a hard time forgiving myself for the stupidity I have showed the world.

and so for that, last night, as I was thinking real hard about my life that I shouldn't really be doing since it only complicates my thoughts even more, I had instead created a new literary piece of shit.

Prozac

Eternity--
I see no evidence of such.
I feel no evidence of happiness.
In this short yet long dimension,
where horizon and sky never met,
a never ending pain exists
between the world and me,
on life's journey and imaginary experiences.
I am wanting
of a would-be world in the deepest
of my cold soul,
of truth and not vagueness.
I am demented and sick.
I'm dreaming that I am numb.
A lifeless substance.
Pain-free creature.

memoirs.....

I am sharing this..yet again.

The infamous:

Ano bang Problema niyo?!!!!!!!!
March 8th, 2007

PUUUTTEEEKKKKK!!

di na kayo nakakatuwa ah…

ano ba? inggit ba kayo na mas matalino kami sa inyo?? i really REALLY don’t want to brag and rub the fact off your faces but you are so0o0o0o pushing it..

bitter people!!

would you just let it go already??

and you!! you BIATCH!!! DO YOU know that i am close to pulling your hair off to bring you back to your senses?!!!

gawd!!!! what you’re saying are TOO MUCH!!!

and i’m loosing it.

KAYO NA LANG ANG MAG-EVE MGA ADIK!!!

you…freakin small-brained creatures..!!!! GET A FREAKIN LIFE AND MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!! WE DESERVE WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW AND YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE HAVE GONE THROUGH!! DAMNIT!! DAMNIT!!!!! DAMNIT!!! I AM SO0O0O0O FREAKIN MAD RIGHT NOW!!!!

UUURRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

I TRIED TO STAY CALM AND MAINTAIN MY COMPOSURE AND NOT TO ACT THIS WAY… BUT.. I HAVE TO FREAKIN VOICE OUT THE ANGER THAT’S CREEPING ALL OVER ME!

i hate you… and your whole damn section… sorry for those who aren’t as bad as those concern.. but you have your section’s name on your back.. and just hearing it irks me.. totally.

Fairness ba?!!*rolls eyes*

March 14th, 2007

bakit naman ganun?

i’m just wondering outloud ah.. hope i won’t offend anyone.

i am, or rather we, are just damn curious as to how on earth some names end up in Group A in the Review list.

seriously?

Is that like showing us, people, that your institution is afraid of those damn parents who can’t shut their gob when they absolutely have no idea what the real thing is going on?

chickenin’ out?

or, on the positive side, (as we are trying to view it…) you guys just want to give ‘em a real hard painful slap in their faces so you mixed them up with those in Group A?

i sure am hoping you’re targeting for the latter, cuz we’re trying to be positive here.. thinking fairness is so0o0o out of the picture these days.

remember, i’m just wondering outloud and i’m not measuring anything.

that’s all. (said in that infamous tone that Meryl Streep used as Miranda in Devil Wears Prada, with a shrug)

i hate you (rantings)

February 11th, 2007

i wrote this originally as a testimonial in Eve’s profile.. just thought i should post this here too cuz it’s something i find amusing now..haha..

you have to keep in mind that i still hate/(too strong for you?) dislike the person mentioned in the rantings below.. hahaha

that’s just her.. she’s a silent sadist.. SERIOUSLY!!!!! BWAAAAHHHHH!!!

‘ang EVE..

suki sa mga sadistang CI..

bakit ba sila nagexist??

yung tipong pag merong chance to make our life a lil easier.. they would like literally avoid that way just to make us more miserable and hopeless..

i hate how they would pretend that they do care.. WHEN IN FACT THEY DON’T!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

dahil ba may posisyon ka at we are literally UNDER you.. you’ll grab every damn opportunity to make us suffer!!!! WE ARE ON OUR WITS’ END YOU BLIND/OLD TART!!!!!

AHHHH!!!

I SO0O0O0O0O FREAKIN WISH I COULD SPIT THESE WORDS IN YOUR FACE!!!!

you have no idea how you made our blood boil… seriously.. if looks could kill.. you’re prolly six feet under since wednesday morning…

EVE..KAYA NATIN TO!!!’

Guess where??

Guess where?


The moment I press the doorknob's lock, I feel that I am absolutely separated from the harsh reality of the world outside.

I find myself a light years away from my dreaded issues and fears.

I can peel-off the make-believe skin that I ALWAYS use to avoid such humiliating scrutiny of people who has a real small brain capacity.

It gives me a sense of security to dig the deepest part of my humanity, and the fact that I am not just another specimen of this oh-so-materialistic world.

It is the place where I create the most impossible.

I am extra-ordinary;
I am adored and loved;
I am the Queen and the princess of my little kingdom.

The only place where I confess my weaknesses and elucidation.

No eyes judge me. Nobody can tell me that I am wrong.

I cry, I scream. At times I hurt myself by pulling a fistful of my hair.

And then I would close my eyes for a second and unlock myself back to reality.

Smell the air fume that nauseate my nostrils, brush my hair, spray some Chritina Aguilera's Inspire, hoping against hope it would, indeed, inspire me, really.

Pretend that I am happy. That I am contented.

Believe that I know what love is. Start dreaming into fairytales.

I am an angel who lost my wings and is saved by a broomstick.

I am a witch. And I hate vegetables.


*sighs*