Hoe To Resign As My Friend

Lately, a lot of issues had been thrown over me and some (well just one) of my friends implying that we should no longer be friends (for some inexplicably childish reasons of another envious friend, I guess). So I've come up with this list.


This will serve as your guidelines on how to tell me that you no longer want me to be your friend.


PS. This is a one-way thing. Since I come up with this, this doesn't mean that if I don't want to be friends with you, I'd also do one listed below. If I no longer want to be your friend, I'd just delete you on my friend's list on facebook. Or create your own list of things to do (which is kind of plagiarism in a way since it's my idea!).


Here you go:

1. You can try to write me a letter. A resignation letter as my friend. Font size is 65, type is Papyrus but the whole letter must fit on 1 regular size bond paper. Sign it and have it counter signed by the next president of the Philippines. Attach 12 full body shot and 87 2x2 pictures (take note of the numbers. I'm very particular with numbers). You also need to include 34 candy wrappers of MAXX candy, Dragonfruit flavor.

2. Your next option, should the first one be too much work for you, is to write to Wish Ko lang. Just inform them that you're wish is to get rid of me as your friend. Once they confirmed, they must have Simon Cowell with them when they look for me to tell me your wish. And Simon must give me a brand new rainbow colored Ferrari and then sign me on his label with a sure 10M dollar contract. Then you're off to go.

3. Third and possibly the simplest way is to Pray. Pray to GOD and tell Him you no longer want me to be your friend so He must send his angel Gabriel and tell me personally (not on my dreams, ok? Make sure of that! cause most of the time Gab tend to show up on dreams and you can only hear his voice which is not good enough. His message should be delivered LIVE!)

4. Last but not the least, just opt to give me 90M pounds. And open a trust fund for me. Right on after doing so, I'll forget we even became friends.



There ya go. Your guidelines. Please follow instructions carefully. Asking me to stop being your friend is a very serious matter. So if you've decided to pursue your ideas, then feel free to pick one on the list.

But of course, I'd still hope you'll just have me as your friend until the end of the world or if it comes first, until I die so you won't have to go through so much trouble.

I don't think I'm that awful of a friend anyway. If you think so, then go back to the list above and pick one that soothes you best in ridding off of me.


Best of luck! :)