my musings and other things..

Hoe To Resign As My Friend

2010-05-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

Lately, a lot of issues had been thrown over me and some (well just one) of my friends implying that we should no longer be friends (for some inexplicably childish reasons of another envious friend, I guess). So I've come up with this list.

This will serve as your guidelines on how to tell me that you no longer want me to be your friend.

PS. This is a one-way thing. Since I come up with this, this doesn't mean that if I don't want to be friends with you, I'd also do one listed below. If I no longer want to be your friend, I'd just delete you on my friend's list on facebook. Or create your own list of things to do (which is kind of plagiarism in a way since it's my idea!).

Here you go:

1. You can try to write me a letter. A resignation letter as my friend. Font size is 65, type is Papyrus but the whole letter must fit on 1 regular size bond paper. Sign it and have it counter signed by the next president of the Philippines. Attach 12 full body shot and 87 2x2 pictures (take note of the numbers. I'm very particular with numbers). You also need to include 34 candy wrappers of MAXX candy, Dragonfruit flavor.

2. Your next option, should the first one be too much work for you, is to write to Wish Ko lang. Just inform them that you're wish is to get rid of me as your friend. Once they confirmed, they must have Simon Cowell with them when they look for me to tell me your wish. And Simon must give me a brand new rainbow colored Ferrari and then sign me on his label with a sure 10M dollar contract. Then you're off to go.

3. Third and possibly the simplest way is to Pray. Pray to GOD and tell Him you no longer want me to be your friend so He must send his angel Gabriel and tell me personally (not on my dreams, ok? Make sure of that! cause most of the time Gab tend to show up on dreams and you can only hear his voice which is not good enough. His message should be delivered LIVE!)

4. Last but not the least, just opt to give me 90M pounds. And open a trust fund for me. Right on after doing so, I'll forget we even became friends.

There ya go. Your guidelines. Please follow instructions carefully. Asking me to stop being your friend is a very serious matter. So if you've decided to pursue your ideas, then feel free to pick one on the list.

But of course, I'd still hope you'll just have me as your friend until the end of the world or if it comes first, until I die so you won't have to go through so much trouble.

I don't think I'm that awful of a friend anyway. If you think so, then go back to the list above and pick one that soothes you best in ridding off of me.

Best of luck! :)

Akalain mo nga naman...

2009-11-29T08:50:00.001-08:00

Makalipas ang ilang libong taon, naalala kong may BLOG nga pala ako. Hahahahaha. Marami ng nangyaring kababalaghan ang kagaguhan sa buhay ko.

1. Pumasa ako ng Board Exam. Oo. Akalain mo nga naman, nakadali din. Chamba or kung ano man yun, feeling ko destiny ko talaga ang one time take lang. (Oo. Mejo mayabang ako.) Pero pinaghirapan ko naman yun. Nalungkot lang ako (at si Maja rin) kasi hindi kami nakapasok ng Top 10. So sad.

2. Nagkatrabaho na ko agad tapos ng board at ng 4 na taong pagaaral ko sa Narsing, pero ang naging hanap-buhay ko ay wala sa kalingkingan ng inaral ko. Call Center. Oo. Call Girl ako. Bayaran at kumakayod ng buto and ginagamit ang lalamunan sa gabi.

3. Umalis ako sa unang trabaho ko na yun sa wag-na-nating-banggitin-pa dahil TOXIC yung account. Nung nag-pasa ako ng resignation form, sabi ng boss ko, baka raw magagawan pa ng paraan, kasi CHINECK niya daw at MAGANDA daw ang record ko sa kumpanya (BTW, Top 1 ako sa Training namin dun. Yun lang) pero tapos na ang training at kung ang sinasabi niyang magandang record ko ay yung nasa floor na ako, sasagutin ko sana talaga yung Boss ko na 'Tang'na Boss, wala namang bastusan.' Get's mo? Puros kalokohan lang ako dun.

4. Bagong trabaho. Sa Makati (narining mo ba si Binay sa utak mo? 'Sa Makati..') Masaya ako sa trabaho ko ngayon, bukod sa hindi stressful, maganda ang ambiance at environment. Pero siyempre, hindi pa rin to sa linya ng tinapos kong kurso kaya malamang, di rin ako magtagal dito.

5. Hindi na ako nakakapag choir. Eto seryosong bagay. Nakakadepress talaga. Sakto talaga yung song line na 'Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got till it's gone..'

BTW, nasa opisina ako ngayon at imbes matulog eh inuna ko talaga to.

Yun lang. Akalain mo nga naman.

Play Me!! Play Me!!

2009-09-02T21:22:00.001-07:00

I have this 'Fling' thingy at work.. and woopsie, I did end up as 'the other woman' Gee. Greeaaattt!
Am I proud? No. What sucks more is that the Original girl is a friend.. not a dear one, but still, a friend. Argh. Slap me now. Wake me up. I just want to have fun. But yeah, it's not so much fun specially that I am very much aware that I'm stepping on a friend's own happiness..

It's a beautiful mess. See. I still think it's beautiful even if it's a mess!!! What have gone to my head, I do not know.

Your style is quite selective, Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear'
Cause here we are, here we are

One Fish Two Fish

2009-07-10T02:48:00.000-07:00

I created this several years ago and originally a saula fiction. It's not Jane Austen-ish so forgive my soul. haha..

and I didn't use Monique here kasi my original character talaga is a little boy. At naisip ko yung scene ni Erika with Teddy and baby Tj walking for the firt time.. hehe..

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters mentioned (Erika, Tj nor Barney!!). This is a work of fiction and just a mere product of my wild imagination. Any similarities to anyone's reality is purely coincidental. However I would like to c;larify that One Fish Two Fish is partly the title of Dr. Seuss book released on 1960's.

An Alternate Universe Story that takes on Erika and Tj,

Erika's POV:

All i needed this morning was a half hour alone, thirty minutes of peace & quiet to help preserve my sanity. No mom-do-this, mom-i-need-that, mom-he-bit-me, mom-i-spilled-the-juice-on-the-couch. Just me, a hot Calgon bath, and nothingness. I shouldn't dream so big.

After getting the two oldest off to school, i settled the youngest in front of Barney & said,

"honey, listen closely. Your mommy is going to crack. She's losing her marbles. She's teetering on the edge of permanent personality damage. This is because she has a children. Are you following me so far?"

He nodded absently while singing, "barney is a dinosaur in our imagination..."

"good. Now, if you want to be a good little boy, you'll sit right here & watch barney while mommy takes a nice, hot , quiet, peaceful, rake-me-away bath. i don't want you to bother me. I want you to leave me alone. For thirty minutes, I don't want to see or hear you. got it?"

Nod.

"Good morning boys & girls..." I heard the purple wonder say.

I headed to the bathroom w/ my fingers crossed.
I watched the water fill the tub and watched the mirror & window steam up. I watched as the water turn blue from my bath beads and got in.

I heard a knock on the door.

"mom?..mom? are you in there mom?!.."

I learned long ago that ignoring my children does not make them go away.

"yes,..Im in here. What do you want?"

There was a long pause while Tj tried to decide what he wanted..

"umm,can i have snack?"

"you just had breakfast! can't you wait a few minutes?"

"noooo! im dying!! i need snack right now!!!"

"fine. You can have box of raisins."

I heard him pad off to the kitchen, listened as he pushed chairs & stools around trying to reach the raisin shelf, felt the floor vibrate when he jumped off the counter,& heard him run back to the tv room.

"Hi susie! Can you tell me what the color of the grass is?...."

Knock.knock,knock...

"mom?..mom?...Are you in there, mom?!"

Sigh. "yes im still in here. What do you need now?

Pause."umm, I need to take a bath, too!."

Riiiiight.

"honey, can't you wait till I'm done?"

the door opened just crack.

"noo., I really need to take some now,. I'm dirty."

"you're always dirty. Since when do you care?"

The door opened all the way.

"i really need to take a bath, mom."

"no you don't! go away."

He stood in the middle of the bathroom & started taking off his pj's.

"I'll just get in w/ you & take bath too.."

"no! You will not get in w/ me & take a bath! I want to take my own bath!..i want you to go away & please leave me alone even just for 15 minutes.."

I began to sound like a 3 year old kid w/ whom i was arguing w/.
He climbed onto the edge of the tub, balancing carefully,& said. "i'll just get in w/ you, okay, mom?.."

I started to shriek, "no! that is not okay! I want my own bath, all by myself! i don't want to share! i want to be alone!.."

He thought for a moment & said, "okay, I'll just sit here & you can read me a book. I won't get in, mom, until you're done." He flashed me a knock-down charming smile.

So i spend my morning alone-time reading One Fish Two Fish to a naked three -year-old who sat on the edge of the tub w/ his chin resting on his knees, arms wrapped around his bent legs, slight smile on his face.

I thought to myself,. "why fight it? It won't be long before I have all the alone-time i want. And then I'll probably feel bad about not having any more together-time."

Finitto.

***********should you want to leave a comment, please use my cbox here. =)

i don't miss you at all.

2009-05-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

I'm a very vocal lil creature when it comes to teeling people that I miss them, a little too much at times, even.

But anyhow, I heard this song as I was browsing imeem and immediately fell in love with it. It's called I Don't Miss You At All by Norah Jones..

As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin' laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile

So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window I see lights going dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand
As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down

I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all

Dont miss you at all - Norah Jones

long day is over..

2009-05-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

If you feel like really tired from all day's work and all.. and you'd want to listen to something real soothing as you relax your aching back to a real soft bed or couch. This is the song you should listen to.

It's called The Long Day is Over by Norah Jones.

Feeling tired
By the fire
The long day is over

The wind is gone
Asleep at dawn
The embers burn on

With no reprise
The sun will rise
The long day is over

The Long Day Is Over - Norah Jones

..love-ly love love..

2009-05-17T23:17:00.000-07:00

I am currently in love with this guy. And in my beautiful mind I am dating him.. and he's taking care of me. *dreamy state..*

*sighs*

*sighs*

*sheepish smile..*

he's Richard Poon. ;)

wuss wuss

2009-05-13T03:18:00.000-07:00

I love conflict, but I hate the pangs.
I love the sea, but I'm afraid to swim.
I love to talk, but no one bothers to listen.
When I'm happy, I horribly miss being sad.
Yes, I am ironic.
And I'm certain no one understands..
Do I give that much of a damn?
you guess..

I would still start my mornings with a cup of coffee.

*********

I know you..but not as much as I hope I do..
Just like nobody really bothered to delve deeper through the mystery of your existence..
The evening sky tiptoes in and the indigo horizon is faintly visible..
I asked the sky if ever I will really get to reach you..the fragile you..
but little stars glitter no reply.
I might never know the answer..
but at the moment,
I am strong and I'm still willing to try..

*********

belated Happy Nanay's Day..

2009-05-11T03:03:00.000-07:00

I was a lil subtle when I greeted my mom yesterday, still, I know she felt the sincerity of it. We were watching SOP yesterday and they were singing with their moms. Jaya sang 'On This Side Of Me by Corinne May', I was amazed really because I just realized yesterday that yeah, it could be a dear song for our moms.

Anyhow, if it's about songs, I guess this one, though not my composition (hell yeah..haha), I would like to dedicate it to my mom.

Nanay
Joey Benin

Pagmamahal at pag-aaruga ang nakamtan naming biyaya
Hindi nagdamot ang tadhana
Bigay ka sa min ng Diyos

Mula pagkabata hanggang paglaki
Ikaw ay lagi naming katabi
Kahit saan pa man maparoon
Ikaw ay nandoroon

Nanay, Nanay
Wala ng hihigit pa sa 'yong pag-akay at pag-aaruga
Nanay, Nanay
Bukod-tangi ang pag-ibig mo
Kami'y buong pusong nagpapasalamat sa 'yo

Pagmamahal at pag-aaruga ang nakamtan naming biyaya
Kahit saan pa man maparoon
Ikaw ay nandoroon

Nanay, Nanay
Wala ng hihigit pa sa 'yong pag-akay at pag-aaruga
Nanay, Nanay
Bukod-tangi ang pag-ibig mo
Kami'y buong pusong nagpapasalamat sa 'yo

Salamat sa iyo
Kami'y buong pusong nagpapasalamat sa 'yo

++++++

Nanay, i love you more than you could possibly fathom..and there's not one prayer I have uttered for as long as I could remember that I didn't include you and tatay in. I know I could be a real pain at times but you still me unconditionally (like you have a choice, really..haha). Thank you. I know it will not suffice, but still. Thank you.

word salad, anyone?

2009-05-06T00:52:00.000-07:00

why the title?

-------------

So review is almost over. Gee. I could never really picture what for real would happen to me afterwards. I mean, yes, I have plans and all but it's all hazy pictures at the moment.. e.g. Me working not in the medical field YET but on a call center..maybe.

Finally, leaving SJC for GOOD. Quite huge step if I visualize it. No not huge, humongous. I'm scared as shit. Seriously.. SERIOUSLY!! I'm leaving my comfort zone. Steppin outside the box. My knees are wobbly. And what sucks the most is I have so little control over it. Maybe that's why I kind of set my mind that I'm not to work on hospital like imediately, like now NOW. Hell No! What am I nuts? (I could literally hear Prof Silva uttering those last four words..lmao!) I have yet to gain THAT much confidence.. Yes, I know I have my capabilities and it's not like I'm dumb or something or stupid even, No I most certainly am not. I just.. I'm scared.

Getting past the scary thoughts and all, now the word is lugubrious. Being an artist, that is me. haha.. But yes, how on earth will I not miss the grounds of that wee-bit of a campus we have? It was there. All there. Laid-out in the open all the memories--bitter, sweet, fun.. feel free to use/include other trite you could think of pertaining to memories.. And the people I have grown to hate and love.

The graduation day did not really put this toll of mood on me since I was darn confident I'd still see 'em all..my feet will still drag me to the campus because of the review. But now the curtain's finally about to close.

I must bid the warmest good-bye. And yes, there is good in good-byes.

Good night....... *yawns*

don't go far off..

2009-04-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

I asked Annel to email some of her favorite poems--

and I fell in love with this one. =)

Don't Go Far Off

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.



Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,



because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

 -- Pablo Neruda

aloha..lo..

2009-04-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

I would like to finally say something about my life:

................

Gee. My brain is empty. (not a news!!)

anyhow, let's see.. hmm. I would try my might to capture my thoughts, piece by piece..

~ I am currently listening to acoustic version of Bluer than Blue. Why? Just because.

~ I miss certain people. Just certain creatures. Darn. Waaahh.. I misssssss yoouuuuuuuuuu.

~ Maj did her recall regarding PRC filing. My thoughts :Chaos..Chaos...chaos. And more chaos.

~ Review is still on-going. I am ambivalent. And I know, it's not a very positive thing.

~ I can't freakin wait to get a job and work my ass off and earn huge bucks and BUY souls!!!! argh!

~ I need to pray more often. I need more faith. I need strength. I need..I need..

~ Today was a so-so day. I studied OB and to our, i dunno if you could really call it luck, the exam was canceled. Nice. (not!)

~ People is better than no people.

~ So I told my people last night that if ever I would have to undergo a surgery, they should make sure that their asses are available to be beside me because I need them to be strong for me and to hold my hand, if ever. They do not have the right be scared in front my face because I swear to God I will kill them.

~ and some people should grow up. Seriously.

~ and yes, this is my own space, my blog, my thoughts. It's only fair that I get to be self-centered here. A narcissists on my own little world. Bleh.

dot dot dot

2009-04-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

~So it has been literally ages since the last time I have gone mad and wrote something on here. Haha. . Well, I'm lucid now so I'm grabbing this rare moment to finally update you guys about me. I know you could care less, really, but still. Lemme. haha..

For starters, after 4 long years of agony and suffering and sleepless nights, I finally graduated. Yay me! I was even able, to my shock, snag a performance award. Not that I'm bragging and rubbing it all of your face, but yeah, it was the infamous Best Performance in Head Nursing. Can you effing believe that? I mean I as well, was like 'Gee?!! holy freaking cow!!!' But it was all cool and fun and warm and all that feelings at once. Of course I gave back all the Praise and glory to Him. Without Him I'll be nothing.. a protozoan or bacteria or virus or fungi even. I also tried to express my gratitude to those people who probably had gone mad as well and voted me on that deliberation day. I owe you po BIG time. Thank you.

oh and to say that a LOT of things has happened to me this past few weeks would definitely be my understatement of the year. It was worse that a roller-coaster ride.. more than that.

I have committed such HUGE mistakes and I've been pretty much nothing except a disappointment to the people I've been trying to please, I guess.. well yeah. Just then that I realized how much regret one is be capable of having.. Seriously. I even had suicidal ideation. See?!!!! It was THAT BAD.

But thankfully, with His guidance and help and all the other people who have been nothing but a helping hand, I came out of the storm alive..and kicking asses!! ahaha... and I could never be thankful enough. I literally owe my life to them.. gawd.

I am still busy doing Board review but it's all cool. I haven't felt that taxed yet so yeah.. I'm not yet complaining.

As of this moment, I am happy and contented. Cheerios!!!

tipsy-doodle doo....

2009-02-21T01:39:00.000-08:00

I'm effing bored.. so I'm just gonna blab and blab until you hate me or rather yourself for wasting your ever precious time reading my nonsense blah blah..

- My default mood is melancholy because it makes me appreciate happy-ness greatly. I guest despite being a smiley and touchy-feely kind of person, inside of me, I really am dark & twisted.

- I did not realize that I do have a shattered confidence in regard to my chosen profession until last night when I was talking to a dear friend and the topic was sorta brought up. I.. dunno. I'm havin a hard time forgiving myself for the stupidity I have showed the world.

and so for that, last night, as I was thinking real hard about my life that I shouldn't really be doing since it only complicates my thoughts even more, I had instead created a new literary piece of shit.

Prozac

Eternity--
I see no evidence of such.
I feel no evidence of happiness.
In this short yet long dimension,
where horizon and sky never met,
a never ending pain exists
between the world and me,
on life's journey and imaginary experiences.
I am wanting
of a would-be world in the deepest
of my cold soul,
of truth and not vagueness.
I am demented and sick.
I'm dreaming that I am numb.
A lifeless substance.
Pain-free creature.

memoirs.....

2009-02-21T01:22:00.000-08:00

I am sharing this..yet again.

The infamous:

Ano bang Problema niyo?!!!!!!!!
March 8th, 2007

PUUUTTEEEKKKKK!!

di na kayo nakakatuwa ah…

ano ba? inggit ba kayo na mas matalino kami sa inyo?? i really REALLY don’t want to brag and rub the fact off your faces but you are so0o0o0o pushing it..

bitter people!!

would you just let it go already??

and you!! you BIATCH!!! DO YOU know that i am close to pulling your hair off to bring you back to your senses?!!!

gawd!!!! what you’re saying are TOO MUCH!!!

and i’m loosing it.

KAYO NA LANG ANG MAG-EVE MGA ADIK!!!

you…freakin small-brained creatures..!!!! GET A FREAKIN LIFE AND MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!! WE DESERVE WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW AND YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE HAVE GONE THROUGH!! DAMNIT!! DAMNIT!!!!! DAMNIT!!! I AM SO0O0O0O FREAKIN MAD RIGHT NOW!!!!

UUURRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

I TRIED TO STAY CALM AND MAINTAIN MY COMPOSURE AND NOT TO ACT THIS WAY… BUT.. I HAVE TO FREAKIN VOICE OUT THE ANGER THAT’S CREEPING ALL OVER ME!

i hate you… and your whole damn section… sorry for those who aren’t as bad as those concern.. but you have your section’s name on your back.. and just hearing it irks me.. totally.

Fairness ba?!!*rolls eyes*

March 14th, 2007

bakit naman ganun?

i’m just wondering outloud ah.. hope i won’t offend anyone.

i am, or rather we, are just damn curious as to how on earth some names end up in Group A in the Review list.

seriously?

Is that like showing us, people, that your institution is afraid of those damn parents who can’t shut their gob when they absolutely have no idea what the real thing is going on?

chickenin’ out?

or, on the positive side, (as we are trying to view it…) you guys just want to give ‘em a real hard painful slap in their faces so you mixed them up with those in Group A?

i sure am hoping you’re targeting for the latter, cuz we’re trying to be positive here.. thinking fairness is so0o0o out of the picture these days.

remember, i’m just wondering outloud and i’m not measuring anything.

that’s all. (said in that infamous tone that Meryl Streep used as Miranda in Devil Wears Prada, with a shrug)

i hate you (rantings)

February 11th, 2007

i wrote this originally as a testimonial in Eve’s profile.. just thought i should post this here too cuz it’s something i find amusing now..haha..

you have to keep in mind that i still hate/(too strong for you?) dislike the person mentioned in the rantings below.. hahaha

that’s just her.. she’s a silent sadist.. SERIOUSLY!!!!! BWAAAAHHHHH!!!

‘ang EVE..

suki sa mga sadistang CI..

bakit ba sila nagexist??

yung tipong pag merong chance to make our life a lil easier.. they would like literally avoid that way just to make us more miserable and hopeless..

i hate how they would pretend that they do care.. WHEN IN FACT THEY DON’T!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

dahil ba may posisyon ka at we are literally UNDER you.. you’ll grab every damn opportunity to make us suffer!!!! WE ARE ON OUR WITS’ END YOU BLIND/OLD TART!!!!!

AHHHH!!!

I SO0O0O0O0O FREAKIN WISH I COULD SPIT THESE WORDS IN YOUR FACE!!!!

you have no idea how you made our blood boil… seriously.. if looks could kill.. you’re prolly six feet under since wednesday morning…

EVE..KAYA NATIN TO!!!’

Guess where??

2009-02-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

Guess where?

The moment I press the doorknob's lock, I feel that I am absolutely separated from the harsh reality of the world outside.

I find myself a light years away from my dreaded issues and fears.

I can peel-off the make-believe skin that I ALWAYS use to avoid such humiliating scrutiny of people who has a real small brain capacity.

It gives me a sense of security to dig the deepest part of my humanity, and the fact that I am not just another specimen of this oh-so-materialistic world.

It is the place where I create the most impossible.

I am extra-ordinary;
I am adored and loved;
I am the Queen and the princess of my little kingdom.

The only place where I confess my weaknesses and elucidation.

No eyes judge me. Nobody can tell me that I am wrong.

I cry, I scream. At times I hurt myself by pulling a fistful of my hair.

And then I would close my eyes for a second and unlock myself back to reality.

Smell the air fume that nauseate my nostrils, brush my hair, spray some Chritina Aguilera's Inspire, hoping against hope it would, indeed, inspire me, really.

Pretend that I am happy. That I am contented.

Believe that I know what love is. Start dreaming into fairytales.

I am an angel who lost my wings and is saved by a broomstick.

I am a witch. And I hate vegetables.

*sighs*

sa araw na ito..

2009-01-24T01:16:00.000-08:00

Ang araw na ito..

today is a very special day kasi birthday ng aking one and only sis.. (take note, hindi kami blood-related.) hehe.. anyhow..

I've known her for umm..how many years na nga ba?? I can't quite put my finger into it.. memory gap nga naman oo.. but anyhow, she has been a real blessing in my life. Kagaya nga ng sinabi ko before sa texts, if my everyday here on erth is already a blessing, then her coming into my life is already a miracle.. as well as all the other special people in my life diba.

So sis, Annel, Annelvie, Amvie.. whatever they call you. Happy happy birthday my darling sister.

++++++

Sa araw na ito ay umattend ako/kami ng seminar with former Dean Marco as the guest speaker.. siyempre sobrang saya ko di ba. Kasi crush ko talaga siya. At alam ata iyon ng buong Integrity. So?. He's really magaling naman talaga.. at andami ko sanang gustong i-recap with regards to everything na sinabi niya pero mostly ang tumatak sa kin na sinabi niya is, kung papasa ako or kami ng board exam, it's not because of all the reviews we've done and all (siyempre with its help but not entirely), it's simply because we deserve it. WE effing DESERVE IT!!!!!!!

Do i feel like I deserve to pass the board? OO naman. I want to stay positive from now on that I will pass the board.. pero siyempre, at the back of my head, there's still that lil voice murmuring 'what if hindi...what if you fail...' pero i'll try my best to keep that disgusting thought away.

I am positive. POSITIVE.

pero feeling ko medyo jinx na i'm already talking about the boards eh I haven't graduated pa nga.. hahahaha...

Ga-graduate ba ako??

Yan ang hindi ko pa alam... *stares blanky* haha..

kapalpakan at iba pa..

2009-01-18T05:44:00.000-08:00

Panapananaw lamang..

Sa dinami-dami ng errors na pwedeng i-commit sa pinili kong propesyon, hindi siguro talaga maiiwasan na kung minsan (huwag naman sanang maging madalas) na makagawa ng mabigat na pagkakamali.

Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kung bakit hindi kayang higupin ng utak ko ang lahat ng imporamasyong kailangan ko habang buhay.

Nakakainis na may hanggan ang lawak ng kaisipan ng tao. Pero hindi ko rin naman pwedeng kwuestyunin ang mga bagay-bagay na ganoon kalalim. Naniniwala ako sa Taas at alam kong may dahilan ang bawat bagay.

Nakakalungkot lang, at nalulungkot ako at naiinis sa sarli ko na sa bawat kapalpakan ko sa linyang ito, buhay ng tao ang nakasalalay.

Palagi kong sinasabi na gusto ko ito,. na masaya ako sa direksyon na 'to. Na maalaga akong tao. Pero siguro nga, bubot pa ako. Hindi pa sapat ang kaalaman.. mahina.. mabuway.

Sana isang taon mula ngayon matatag na ako at karapat-dapat sa posibleng propesyon ko.

Gusto kong isigaw sa mundo, sa lahat ng tao kung gaano ang katangahang naipamalas ko sa araw na ito.. pero huwag na. Mag-iiba pa ang tingin nila kay 'Ghie'..

Tae di ba.

Sa yo, hindi mo ito mababasa at kampante ako.. salamat po. Sa gamilyang haba ng pasensiya at pang-unawa. Ang laki na ng utang ko sa iyo.

Chie-chie..tandaan natin. Enero bente, dos mil nuwebe..

happy new year!

2009-01-09T21:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

woo0o0o0o!!!

Sow how's everyone?? gawd.. I effing miss this. This. Exactly. Being able to pour out my non-sense blabs about my very chaotic yet beautiful life.

I wish everyone a happy and prosperous new year!!!

hmm.. short recap of what has been happening to moi:

My new year was a blast!! I mean its first day was.. I spent my January 1st with the people who are real close to my heart next to my mom and dad. Tapos nag exchange gifts pa kami! yahoo!! Siyempre yung paghahati ng taon nasa bahay ako at mega nanonood sa mga bonggang fireworks. I left the house at around 2 in the morning to go to Ate Beth's house.

and then all the fun ended. Classes had resumed, sadly. Hahaha.. Our first week, supposedly,
we would act as student c.i's sa mga level 1 students. Pero hindi yun ang nangyari. Darn talaga. Bale naka-set na kasi yung isp ko last year pa na magtuturo ako sa CMC West. But no. Sayang yung pera ko na nagastos sa pagpapaprint ng sandamakmak na requirements para dun sa nursing educ na yon. Pati effort ako!..Wala na. Pinull-out kami for some reason I still couldn't quite figure at nag-duty kami instead sa Cavie Naval. Ayos naman except for the fact na we were under real TOXICITY. Ang daming requirements anak ng tinapa.. Pero we're real thankful that Ma'am Gariza was real malambing with her 'girl..' term of endearment whenever she tries to call our attention.. "Oi girl yung charting mo asan na?" .. "girl yung mga meds ngayong twelve ha..".. "girl lahat ng gamot sa E-Cart gagawan niyo ng drug study ha.."..."girl....girl...girl..." By the end of our duty, I was effing sure I am a GIRL. hahahaha.. But no kidding, she's a sweetie naman pala.. I was thinking of the opposite.

Anyhow, so yun nga, and then yesterday we attended the seminar of Patience which was also held in GT. Without bitterness (although I do have the latter in me) maganda yung over-all seminar nila. Except may maingay talaga sa likod ng stage.. grabe. Hindi siguro sila aware na dinig sila talaga sa harap.. prolly yung mga C.I's sa back area, hindi sila aware dun. We were not given evaluation sheet. Most of us in our section at least. *glares*

The highlight for me of that effing seminar was not even when my dearest loved ma'am ada gave her closing remarks (I applaud though Patience for giving that part to ma'am Ada. We were talking on our table na parang naiiyak siya dun sa last part ng speech niya. hehe..) but when we were to go home na. Lmao!!! Sinabay kami ni Dean sa karuna niya. At dahil siyempre makapal ang mukha namin, nakisabay kami ng bonggang bongga. And what made me real joyous is dahil sa front seat nakaupo si mam ada. Shemay ang babait nila. Mega-watt smile of course si mam and she was even apologetic sa min kasi ihahatid pa daw siya ni dean.. parang sorry for delay ganun. Grabe! Eh samantalang okay nga lang kahit sa kanila pa mismo siya ihatid! hahaha.. at pinag-usapan namin ni Arianne yung LV bag ni mam ada. I think and I'm pretty sure orig yung bagelya niya. Tae.. napakamahal nun! Hindi risonable ang presyo. Just think, ang halaga ng bagelya na yun ay makakabayad na sa buong tuition fee ko ngayung second sem, kasama na pati review!!!! Sabagay..kung-afford niya naman di ba.. heheh..

So today, as I'm typing this up, kakatapos pa lang ng defense namin sa thesis. Shemay!!! Thank God!!! May mga corrections lang pero ok naman yung whole presentation. Mabait yung panel namin na si Dr. Quinio (umm..bilas siya ni mima.) with Dr. Ayuyao naman, hindi na siya masyado pa nag-comment, mga corrections na lang yung binigay. Thankfully.

Hai... It's still the first month of this year and a lot of things had already happened. .

but before I go to my default mood of melancholy, i-share niyo naman kung ano ang new year's resolution/s niyo?

Ako I don't have one. Hindi ko naman kasi nasusunod. Sayang lang yung effort ko ng pag-iisip kung anong pwedeng resolution ko.. Haha.. saka I don't think it's ideal to still wait a new year to change for the better. Everyday I think is a great opportunity naman to change a behavior towrds the better.

Di ba?? =)

Perfect Man

2008-12-23T19:17:00.000-08:00

Before I get into what this new post was about,

I would like to greet everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! pareho lang ba yun?? Wtv. Anyhow, I wish you all will have plenty of blessings to share and lots of gifts to rub into everybody else's faces specially those who doesn't celebrate the season, really. (e.g. Me.) However, being a lucky individual, I did received some gifts as well.. and i gave away some din naman.

Mainly because I am a sweet person. Generally. (Yan ha, mainly na, generally pa. haha)

++++++++++++++++++

Perfect man, does he still exists? Yan madalas ang tanong ko sa sarili ko whenever I read romance pocket books. I guess that is the down side of reading too much fiction. A woman tend to believe that a knight-in-shining-armor will conquer dragons to be with her. Sad to say, most of the time, the dragons of this world camouflage themselves as a knight-in-shining-armor.

Despite that sad fact, I somehow believe that a perfect husband/man once lived. He's name is Ronald Raegan.

I own a book called "I Love You, Ronnie. The letters of Ronald Raegan to Nancy Raegan." Some of my pals has seen it and read some letters from it, and we were all in awe with every letter.

To all those wondering who on earth is Ronald Raegan, he is the 40th US President. He was a former actor before entering politics. Nancy Davis is his wife and they tied the knot on March 4, 1952.

Here is an unedited letter of Ronnie to Nancy--one of my favorite, which also goes with the season.

Dec. 25, 1980

My Beloved First Lady

I'm supposed to be sitting here with my fingers crossed watching you open a package. I of course would be hoping it was something you really wanted: something that would show how much I love you. (Having the house painted wont do it)

But here I am--writing a letter again looking for words that will properly say it and those are hard to come by. Could you maybe give me a hint or two before next Christmas?

You see I have this problem, I miss you when you first leave the room. I worry about you when you go out the front door. Now this isn't good for me-- not since my transplant. (you into my heart 29 years ago next March.) Without you there would be no sun, no moon, no stars. With you they are all out at the same time.

browning I'm not but believe me I do love you to the breath and depth of all my being and I count all the ways I love you and they add up to greater happiness than I deserve.

Merry Christmas my love.

Your Husband.

If you weren't touched at all by that letter, I'm assuming you are the coldest living person ever which makes you dead really. Since one cannot live without a tinged of warmth.

I cannot help but melt everytime I read that letter..and I also can't help but wonder if I'll ever be a s lucky as Nancy.

Hai. Bata pa naman ako.. I still have a lot to look forward to. I'm hoping to find a man who is as sweet enough if not as much as Ronnie.

*wistful thought*

The things that I love to Hate..

2008-12-19T06:05:00.000-08:00

Here are probably the things that I truly lurve to hate. . short (or a bit long..) explanation will be given:

1. Cockroach. Except probably for that guy on csi who absurdly love cockroaches, in a way that he killed a human to save a freakin cockroach's life, I do not know anyone else who loves cockroaches and would want to trade their pups to own a cockroach pet. Hmm.. They stink and they make my skin crawl. Darn.

2. Stupidity. I am not saying that I'm that intelligent of a person, but what I'm saying is, it is true that one is entitled to be stupid, however some abuse the privilege. I don't get how some people think that being stupid is cute (eg. Nicole Richie). I truly believe that everyone of us, at least the normal one, were created with the same brain capacity. I don't get what kind of nourishing others do to their brain because for some reason, its capacity shrinked.

One good example of umm,, I don't know if it's stupidity or he's just begging for attention:

Happened during Ostomy care demo:

Student: Ma'am, pag po nag provide ng care, ano pong positioning? Prone or supine?

CI: Ah siyempre, supine.

++++

Nung narinig ko 'to, even though I was doing nonsense scribbles on my pad, talagang nilingon ko yung lalakeng estudyante na nagtanong. Hindi ko alam kung kulang lang ba siya sa pansin or talaga lang adik adik siya. Jusko!!!! prone???? prone????? prone????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ganyan yung mga tipong masarap kutusan. Hai.

++++

Next on my list,

3. Liars. Tell me someone who adores liars. I think no one really, right? I mean seriously. I don't get why some had to lie. Well I mean, I do lie as well but I give it to my distinct character of not being able to keep a secret unless I was threatened if I wouldn't shut my gob. And to that, I can hardly lie. So I hate it when people lie to my face. I specially loathe the part where I find out they were lying.. or I already know they are yet they still lie!! I don't know where they get the idea that they make a shit-fool out of me.. Sheeeeeesssshhhhh. !!!!!!

4. Pity-not. If I could hand an Oscar on a day-to-day basis, I would solely dedicated the bald man to these filthy people. They are the ones who pretend or act like they give a shit about you, but in reality, they couldn't care less if some guy shot you in your effing face. I hate that they still have to pretend to care. Like what the fuck man!!!! If you don't give a fucking shit about me, then stop acting like you do!! Stop tagging my feelings along and then you'd just drop it on my feet. Gawd. How evil can some people be.

and the last but not the least blah blah blah...

5. Sunshine. I'm not a sunny person. Summers make me gag. I could only take so much sunshine. Though I would have to give a credit to myself for being a warm person, I generally prefer the cold season. I usually wish it would rain..I mean rain not a storm. Cloudy, dark days make me real happy and cheerful.

+++++++++++++

What made my December 19, 2008:

1. Seeing Sir soto dance his effing bum out to a hawaiian song. He's such a great dancer and performer.. I do think he once worked as an entertainer. hehe,..,

2. Seeing AR sisters dance!!!!

3. Seeing some of the ihs faculty dance to the tune of Pcd's buttons!

4. Ma'am ada asking what the hell we're still doing at school while sporting a mega-watt smile. *sigh* Bless her.. such a darling!

tid bits

2008-12-16T22:58:00.000-08:00

Except for my classmates, I don't think a lot of people are aware of me being an OC. I dunno if it's a good thing but I really can't say that I'm a full-pledge OC kid. I mean I have my moments of chaos and ORDER during those times are absolutely not on my list.

How did I become an OC? I dunno actually, but here are some of my weird antics.

+ I do not like ajar doors. Shut it. It sends a disturbing feeling in my spine whenever I see the door ajar. And what I don't understand is why can't some people just shut the effing door upon entering or exiting?? Is it THAT heavy? C'mon people!!! Keep the door shut!!!!!!!!!

+ I love Pancit Canton. However, I have to open it in that distinct way so that I can be sure that its taste is good. Notice the pack of Pancit canton? The words written on it? If for example I opened the first pack (because I usually cook 2 for myself) in the letter P portion of the wrapper, I must open the second pack in the Letter P as well. Because some stupid voice inside me insist that if I accidentally open the pack on the opposite side which would be the N, it would greatly affect the taste of my canton or I'd suffer diarrhea.

see the P and the N part of the wrapper?

Nagbago na ang isip kong i-share pa sa inyo ang iba pang mga weird antics ko.. Baka isipin mo na talaga na oc-oc ako ng bonggang bongga.

Enough about me being an OC. It's almost xmas. Shemay. Kahit wala kaming pasko.. Feeling ko meron din. I already received a gift from someone.. maliit lang naman yun. Pero at least, nakaalala siya di ba. Hehe..

What are your plans this xmas vacay?

Ako, I plan to finish yung mga pinapagawa for school.. like yung sa Nursing educ namin.. tapos yung reporting ko sa asian civ.. OMG. I forgot to ask ate Gerlie..Hai. Ang hirap talaga ng maraming iniisip..

Tapos, I plan to relax my butt off.

Sleep as much as I could. Tulog talaga ang isa sa mga deprivation ko..

Napaka walang kwenta ng post ko na 'to.. Pero at least. Nag-update di ba..

Ciao! =)

To Mrs. A.M.S!

2008-12-15T00:17:00.000-08:00

This whole post is solely written to satisfy the inexplicably absurd admiration of the disclaimer to Mrs. A.M.S.

I first met her nung ininterview ako bago maging student sa aking Alma mater. Siya ang naginterview sa kin.
hmm. I could no longer remember my first thoughts of her but I guess, as I've shared to some of my friends, my favorite part of that interview was when she asked me,
"Balikbayan ka ba?"
I had to laugh inwardly and answered politely but with a tinged of cockiness,
"Nope. Born and raised here po."
Kasi I remember yung mga nauna sa kin na -ininterview niya, sabi gusto niya daw english, at dahil mayabang ako, my thought of course was,
'ah ganun.. kala niya naman aatrasan ko ang English niya! *evil laugh insert here*'

Why do I admire her?
Let me state some of my bizarre reasons.

> She has that 'stern' look. Yung tipong mukha talaga siyang kagalang galang at may posisyon sa lipunan ng SJC kapag nakita mo siya.

> Most of her clothes are made of that distinct fabric. The one that kind of looks like Piña. Yung gusutin. May isang section niyan sa 2nd floor ng SM na puro ganun yung fabric ng clothes. Parang pang executive women.

> I see Addison in her. Addison Forbes Montgomery. My favorite previous character on Grey's Anantomy. The ob-gyn and neonatal surgeon. Addie's image is the one above.

> She scares the shit outta me. I DO NOT want to mess with her.

> Para siyang si Meryll Streep sa The Devil Wears Prada. If you've seen it, try to remember the way her character Miranda Priestly says "That's all." Yung kakaibang tone of voice na real soft but you know that is real effin scary as well. Para siyang may aura na ganun. She talks softly pero basta.. Yun. Inexplicable nga di ba!!!!!

> She teaches ummm.. well? I honestly for the life of me cannot remember. She once handled our class as a substitute for ma'am Angeles. I can't even remember the subject, I think it was Intro to Nursing. But she got to teach us only for a day. Tapos may incident pa with my classmates.. bwahaha..

> That's also why I admire her. Matapang siya.. at Nakakatakot that time. Pero kalmado yung boses niya habang sinisermunan yung mga kaklase ko.,

> Dahil sa pagiging uzi ko, I had witnessed her vulnerability once. She shed a tear or two when talking to an old friend I guess months ago and I saw it with my own spying, stalking eyes.

I was effing happy kasi she attended our Seminar, and I made extra effort to make sure she'd have anything she'd ask. Hehe..

I remember telling Arianne na pangarap ko siyang maging ka-close. I mean, I already have 3 Precious CI's that I truly love pero yun, siya talaga yung pangarap ko.. and being a good friend our convo went like this..

Ghie: Dre pangarap ko talaga maging ka-close yan si ____
Arianne: Ay naku ghie! tigil tigilan mo yang kahibangan mo! wala nga siyang kaclose ever! may nakita ka na ba na kachikahan niyang as in estudyante ha?? Wala!
Ghie: Kaya nga ako yung first!!!
Arianne: Gaga! Bihira nga lang yun lumabas ng lungga niya eh! Magtigil ka!!! Ilusyonadang 'to!

Ayun. So I stopped dreaming. Thanks to the great advice of my dear friend. My dream was crushed and ripped into pieces right infront of my eyes. (yes! Ang drama!)

Though I was never given a chance to be close sa kaniya, she'll always be one of the people that I truly admire. I wish to become like her. Filthy rich with great career of a woman! I swear mag-papapicture talaga ako sa kaniya sa graduation.. Para may remembrance man lang ako.. Hai.

I told Annel about her and she asked me to stalk and take a picture of her. o_0. I'll see what I can do.

This is to you Ma'am! I know you won't ever get to read this naman kaya makapal ang mukha kong ipost ito.

Clue: I wish to be an RLE Coordinator rather than a Dean. Wahahaha.. =)

Quickie

2008-12-11T04:31:00.001-08:00

QUICKIE!!!

What has been happening to me?

hmm..

Our prelims was finally over..

short recap:

Humanities - Ok naman. I think had someone studied with great effort, he would get a perfect score sa exam. Pero as expected, I studied, but not with great effort and so I know for sure I won't get a perfect score. Anyhow, at least I know naman *crossin fingers* na mapapasa ko yung exam kahit pano.

Asian Civ. - Actually I was surprise na hindi naman ganoon kahirap yung exam KUNG NAGARAL KA NA NG BONGGA!! Yun. For sure you'll get high grades din. My regret is that hindi ko na masyadong napagtuunan ng pansin yung chapter 5 na tungkol sa mga dynasty ng China.. putteeekkk.. ang daming tanong dun. =(

NCM - If there's such a word to decribe EVERY NCM major exam, it would have to be VAGUE. Vague because for some reason, while taking the exam, I find myself asking well, my self (haha..) over and over these things:

"Puutteeekkk..diniscuss ba sa 'min 'to??"

"Ha?? Ano naman 'to? San galing tong mga 'to???"

"Anak ng tinapa.. may ganito pa silang nalalaman..!!!!!!taaaaaeeeeeeee!!!"

And then I would release a deep frustrated sigh afterwards. Buti na lang pag dating ng mga exam, lumalabas yung isa kong personality (Yes. I have a LOT of personality. May disorder ako..) and that is me being a Psychic. I try to use my ever cunning ability na manghula at mag-trust sa aking cracked instinct. Hmm.. diyan ko inaasa ang pagpasa ko sa NCM sa malimit na pagkakataon.

You are prolly wondering bakit hindi ko try mangopya. Simple lang.. Kasi naman yung sa NCM eh situational ng bonggang bongga ang mga exam. Pwede ko namang basahin na lang at irationalize on my own kahit medyo baluktot. . Kesa naman mahuli pa ako at mabansagan harap-harapn na 'cheater'. Saka isa pa, yang pangongopya na yan eh DEPENDE talaga. depende sa proctor.

Types of Proctor

a. Gaze-down - From the term itself. As in after niya maidistribute ang exam, pupunta na siya sa sarli niyang mundo at kakalimutan ang mga estudyante sa harap niya. Kadalasan ang sanhi nito ang ang walang tigil na pagtetext ni Mam. Yun. Maganda daw kasi yung ambiance sa room. Masarap magtext lang. Minsan naman may dala siyang calcu dahil mukang mega cram ang lola mo sa pagcompute ng grades.. Tipong kiber siya kahit garapalan na ang pagkokopyaan ng mga estudyante.

b. Walk-a-Walk - Sila naman yung CI na parang napapaso ang pwet kapag umuupo sa table sa harap kaya maglalakad na lang sila. As in maglalakad na lang sila forever. Minsan tamang pulot na rin ng balat ng kendi kapag may nakita (balak pa atang palitan sila Ate Mercy.. o_0).. At pagkatapos nilang maglakad ng maglakad, sisilip sila sa labas ng pinto saglit tapos, back to business. Lakad mode na sila uli.

c. Try-Me-Not - Sila naman yung kahit hindi mag-lakad o maupo sa harap eh hindi mo talaga tatangkain, ni isipin na mangopya sa katabi mo. Bakit? Simple. Dragon sila. Nakakatakot. Deadly. Nakakamatay. Feel free na mag-isip ng iba pang brutal words, sila yun (pag-exam lang naman..). Yung tipong kahit itapat sa yo yung papel ng klasmeyt mo, magagalit ka pa at sasabihing,
"Hayooopppp.. alisin mo na yan! Kahit pa iduldol mo sa mukha ko yan wala akong balak tignan yan. Di bale ng zero!!!!"

d. Unsorted - Sila yung hindi kabilang sa mga unang typed na nabanggit ko. Kasi they are too average. Too common. Too boring. Too lame.. Moody. Minsan nakatingin sa malayo. Minsan nakatingin sa yo na tipong tamang hinala. Sala sa lamig, sala sa init. No definite being. Korny.

++

Yung thesis naman namin. Ayun, ganun pa din siya. Magsisimula palang kami sa analysis and interpretetation. Hai.. Magaling kasi kami. Kaya namin yun magic-in. Haii.. Wish ko lang.

Yan na muna for now ang aking update. Quickie lang!..

seminar galore '08!

2008-12-05T23:36:00.000-08:00

SEMINAR GALORE '08!!

So our seminar was finally over.

*deep sigh*

and I was really relieved at that thought, but not really since I still have a lot of things to do. Gaawwwdd. How taxing life can sometimes be.

Anyhow, here are some of the seminar's highlight in my very personal POV: =)

6 past > Late na kami. Putcha. Alas-sais pasado na wala pa yung sasakyan ng sound system. Tapos nag-text si mam Lanie with a evry sweet message of good luck. Hai. Good luck talaga sa min.

7 past > Panic mode. someone had texted that there are already people in Gen. Tri convention..and well, us, was still on our way. I think nasa may papasok pa lang kami ng Antheneum that time. Plus we saw a lot of students whose obviously on their way going to GT.. waaahh..

quarter to 8 > We finally arrived at the effin convention. I forgot to mention that it was raining and I was dripping wet but not minding it since I was already panicking! Holy shit! Wala pa kaming center piece..tapos tanggal pa yung ibang crepe paper na nakakabit sa stage..tapos isesetup pa lang yung sound system.. kinakabit yung Phil. flag at inaayos yung podium.. Here comes ma'am Almazan demanding for the copy of registration form ng mga clinical Instructors. (na siyempre nakalimutan naming gumawa) I asked Nica kung nasan ang lintek na registration form, wala daw, kasi may nagsabi daw na wag ng gumawa. Hindi na kailangan. Yes! Brilliant idea! So I had to text poor Krystel who was running late thankfully to print one pa before finally going to GT. Hai.

8 past > Waiting for Dean Valderama's arrival. I was sweatin my palms out and nerve-wracked and nervous as shit. For some reason, meeting her is SUCH a big deal to me. Prolly because Nica said she's some highly-intelltual individual who's very humble and posh. Shit. shit. shit. That shouldn't really bother me, right?

almost 9 > Dean Valderama finally came. A woman in her late years with almost faint-red dyed hair. Smiled at us and was very warm (while I'm so effing cold). Had to sigh. She's such a darling.

Doxology > I swear to God I was about to cry when accidentally due to some technical problem and stupidity, Lupang Hinirang was played before we could even sing the supposedly opening prayer. Hai. What more could ruin this event? At nabagsak nga din pala nung Dj yung dvd player/cd player while fixing some things. At siyempre bonggang bagsak at indi ko alam kung matatawa o maiinis when the student at the back cheered and clapped their fidgety hands at the mishap of the poor machine. Hai.

....Nica assigned me to the clinical instructors. To feed them, to make them happy..make their wishes come true. Yes, I guess she thought I'm a genie indisguise. So I did as told and tried my best to give whatever the CI demands of. Walang available na kape. Kasi we never expected that someone would ask for a cup. Fortunately, someone did! at CI siya..so of course, who am I to say that no coffee is available at the house.. hai. So I ran to Krichie and talked him into buying 3-in-1's at the market. Good thing he have his car on stand by. Someone had even aksed for an effing MILK!!! I just laughed it out and apologized and said, "sorry po, 3-in-1 lang.." but at the back of my head I was thinking, "haleerrrr!! Seminar ito, hindi coffe shop na may variety of choices sa preferred niyong timpla.." Kainis.

I was glad naman that kahit pano, na-appreciate naman ng mga Ci yung effort ko. Had someone asked me why I was too attentive to their needs, my answer would be quite simple siguro. Last na 'to. This seminar is it. So why the hell not should I give them the best service I could. Graduation is almost near and I'm leaving St. Jo, why not leave it on a good note. I was more than pleased when Dean Reyes said to me while we were walking behind Dean Valderama after the event, "you're a nice one.." and smiled. I almost cried..almost. hehe..

absurdity > Dean Valderama had asked the students if they are sleepy, and of course, out of respect everyone said No, except for that one clinical instructor who seem to have forgotten her manners at home and shouted "YES!" I was dumb-founded and really had to look at her if she was just messing around or what. I was terrified and shocked to find her real serious and she was obviously upset that the students' said 'no' despite feeling otherwise. Good lord. I know she's capable of things and a little bold sometimes, but I never thought she's capable of such humiliating act. To think Dean Reyes and Ma'am Ada was feet away from her, and Dean Valdemarama as well. I dunno where on earth she got that gut to shout so.. Rude. Stupid. and absolutely out-of-the-line. I was effin pissed. If she cannot respect the speaker for her attainment, at least respect that she's much older amd more experienced than her.. She needs to review her Values obviously, if she still has some of it left.

Closing remarks > I was nervous to deliver such statements and even choked up a little, thankfully I was able to say our thanks without much trouble. Stupid me though for losing the copy of my closing remarks. Argh. It would look nice sana here to be posted.

Finally.. the BIG event was over.. and I'm so glad for all the positive feedback we've been receiving since. I personally thank Rodan, Kuya Pacey and Fc for their help..

and now, my whole effing legs hurt as well as my lower back.. Pero worth it naman. And I never believed the phrase 'too tired to fall asleep' until last night. Snapshots of the seminar flooded in my head and I had to seriously think of something else just to fall into that resful sleep. Haiii.. What an experience. Absolutely worth keeping forever.

I overheard one of my classmate saying that hindi siya nageenjoy sa seminar namin. Dunno if she was kidding, but anyway, I feel the exact opposite despite being so 'ngarag'. I was happy. Very happy indeed after.

that's all for now. Ciao! =)

Etiquette for Mistresses

2008-11-28T21:03:00.000-08:00

~ETIQUETTE FOR MISTRESSES~

I am quite amazed by 'Affairs' these days. Annel shared a story about this Ching bee and her collection of poems that are solely focused on having affairs.

It's not like I would want to become a 'mistress' too but I think in this span of lifetime, anything is possible. I am not putting a period that never will I give such relationship a chance if ever fate has led me to having one. Although I'm hoping I would never have to deal with it. I still think that had someone really not wanted to become one, she wouldn't.

So, if you're asking where on earth did I ever crossed with such title, well, I was reading this book of a local author and she has mentioned about that book, it's called Etiquette for Mistresses by Julie Yap Daza. I was of course appalled and amazed at the same time. Never did I thought that such book will ever be written ( I was like 'what the hell?!! Mistresses now have a guide.. what has happened to the world?').

So I searched the ever intriguing book and, fortunately, I found excerpts of it.

I am sharing this to you, just in case you ever need it. Or if you know a Mistress, you can tell her these:

1) Mistress is not Mrs. Know you place.
No.2 is not No.1, and ne’er the twain shall meet. And they better not.

2) Even if he tells you he loves you more than his wife, don’t let that go to your head.
As a rule, men are liars.

3) Mistresses should be ready to give up Valentine’s Day, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, Holy Week and his birthday.
Mistresses are also called “holiday orphans,”…

4) Be friend his secretary but avoid all contact with his driver.
Unless your married man is carrying on with his secretary, she can be an invaluable asses in your relations or relationship with him-relations as in sex, relationship as in a working or living arrangement.

5) As tempting as it seems, don’t patronize the wife’s beauty parlor, jewelry shop, dress shop, or father confessor.

6) DON’T CALL HIM, WAIT FR HIM TO CALL.

7) To be seen with him in public once is risky. The second time could be fatal to one of you. The third time is The End for both of you.
Love is lovelier when it’s forbidden. Because it’s forbidden it’s supposed to be hidden.

8 ) Never believe, and never say anything unfriendly about his wife, not even after he recites a litany of her faults.
Sooner or later, some mistresses feel so loved that they begin to think f the wife as the other woman.

9) Mistresses are kept bu rich men. But a mistress who is a woman of substance and independent means is better. (Translation: Don’t ask him for money.)

10) Be discreet. (Make sure he is not the type to talk in his sleep.)
There is no fool like a fool in love.

11) Never travel together.
Accidents will always happen.

12) When he breaks a date, charge it to fate, not his fecklessness.

13) Wives have their own networks of spies and amigas. It is helpful for the mistress to have her own. A chaperone is not a good idea, however. (Chaperones are passe. Besides, they talk.)
Because of her position and location in the underground, the mistress is a lonely woman.

14) Mistresses don’t complain.
They shouldn’t. It’s the wives, according to their husbands, who are always complaining.”

15) Being No.2, the mistress tries harder.
At the end of the day (night), she goes home without him. Or he goes home without her with a higher value that when they met yesterday.

16) Send him home as soon as it becomes apparent that he’s overstaying.
What do men do after sex? According to conventional wisdom 10% smoke, 20% fall asleep, and 70% go home to the wife.

17) It is practical for a mistress to be linked to anther man, preferably her lover’s friend.
In the age of the liberated woman, who needs a chaperone? Ah, maybe not, but she needs a beard.

18) If he is a public man and you’re thinking of staging an accident of running into him, think: How many accidents can I pull off in one month?
Its womans nature to want to be loved and be seen as being loved.

19) Don’t make unnecessary enemies of his children.
If you listen to mistresses and their stories, the world is full of love and short on loving.

20) Remind him to pay for everything in cash - dinner, flowers, perfume, champagne, pearls, diamonds, a microwave oven, etc.
In God we trust but pay in cash you must.

21) Don’t use tears as a weapon. He’s probably had enough of that from the Mrs.
Wives nag. Wives cry. If only for that reason, a mistress doesn’t use tears to get what she wants.

22) Resist the urge to be found out.
For every action, the laws of nature decree an equal and opposite reaction.

23) Perish all thought that someday you’ll be No. 1
One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

24) Married men who keep mistresses don’t like surprises, as a rule.

25) A man with a mistress leads a double life, his mistress only half life. Cheer up! A career will make you whole.
Life in the modern world has put women on an equal footing with men. There is nothing a man can do that a woman cannot.

26) Resist the urge to shower him with gifts. Evidence, evidence…!
Love is not love until it is expressed.

27) When in doubt, disappear.

28) When all else fails, leave him.
Some mistresses make it; more do not.

courtesy of: http://msmistress.wordpress.com/2007/04/28/etiquette-for-mistresses/#comment-607

Tula

2008-11-28T02:31:00.000-08:00

.TULA.

I read this piece sa LUMAD. It had always been one of my favorite. I love the uniqueness of it and just everything. I sometimes wish I was the one who wrote this but no.

Anyhow, here it is:

PAGSILONG SA DILIM (isang tula ng pamamaalam)

Aking titikluping isang bangkang papel

Ang langit ngayong gabi

At huwag ka nang magtaka

Kung bakit

Lulan ako nito’t maglalayag

Bitbit-bitbit ang mga tala,

Kilik-kilik sa mga balikat

Ang mga panahong ayaw nating may kalangitan

Huwag mo na ring itanong sa hangin

Ang kuwento ng mga nabubulok na mansanas

Dahil hindi siya iimik

Wala kang maririnig kundi dighay

Kaya’t tumahan ka na

At itikom ang mga nakangangang bibig

Hanggat hindi pa dumaraong ang umaga.

Tulungan mo na lang akong matulog

Sa pagpikit ng iyong mga mata

Huwag kang mumulat

Hanggat hindi pa sumasayad ang angkla

Sapagkat para sa akin ang ilalabo ng mga bituin

At ihihikab ng mga ulap

Buburahin ko sila ng mga kurap

Habang unti-unting nilalamon

Ang tinuping langit ng dagat.

Happy-ness.

2008-11-28T02:05:00.000-08:00

..HAPPY-NESS?

"Are you happy?"

"Huh?"

"You heard what I said, are you?"

"Umm.."

"..."

For now, I would let you know what are the things that makes me real happy. Kahit hindi halata minsan.

1. Sunsets - Kung hindi mo alam na mahilig ako sa sunsets, well, kahapon mo lang siguro ako nakilala. I love love love gazillion love sunsets. I can't give a definite reason why since I cannot really explain yung feeling whenever I see one. Basta.. parang I melt inside. (yes, ice cream lang ang nasa loob ko.)

2. Rainy days - Kabaligtaran with most people na ever hate ang rainy days. Ay naku, ako I love and treasure those days that I get to hear raindrops sa semento. Napaka calming kaya pag umuulan. Pero minsan rin may kakaibang mood change ang dala ng pagpatak ng ulan.

3. A hug - If you know me well, you'd know na I'm a real touchy person. I like talaga hugging people. Pero hindi naman yung tipong may makasalubong lang ako eh ihu-hug ko na ng bongga di ba.. un mostly people na I really love. . or kapag naglalambing lang ako. =)

4. A cup of coffee - I cannot start my day without my ever sweet energy-booster coffee. Basta every morning. Pag nagmamadali, 3-in-one na lang, pero if I have time, I make mine. I'm expert sa pagtitimpla ng kape. Punta ka sa min minsan. Papatikimin kita. ( Si maja rin, masarap magtimpla!)

5. Prayer - Hindi naman ako as in religious person pero kasi I believe na only God knows the REAL me. Not even my mom or dad knows me THAT well. Peri Siya, hai. . No words needed. Pero I'm a sinful person talaga. Nakakainis.

6. A text message - Whatever type of message. May kakaibang excitement akong nafifeel everytime I get to read sa screen ng fone ko '1 New Message'. Yay!

--------------------------------------

One Word

2008-11-25T18:27:00.000-08:00

~ONE WORD~

dot dot dot

the title says it all.

Annel-------------------------- Pink
Chie-chie---------------------- Bewildered
Arianne------------------------ Bold
Maja--------------------------- Comical
Regine------------------------- Embryonic
Buteng------------------------- Impetuous
Francia------------------------- Misty
Erika--------------------------- Remote?
Cha----------------------------- Humane
Shey---------------------------- Pessimist
Dave-sis------------------------ Affable
Pacey--------------------------- Queer
Miema-------------------------- Compassionate
Paris---------------------------- Enigmatic

Ghie---------------------------- Whimsical

..bow.

A Fray

2008-10-30T01:55:00.000-07:00

A FRAY

This is absolutely dedicated to 'you'. I don't have enough courage to really type in your name yet. And I don't think I'll ever have.

Just remember that today, I think so highly of you. You could abuse the privilege all you want. Enjoy my ever fondness of you while it lasts. Because I can guarantee that it will not be forever. It'll soon end. I don't know when. I just know it will.

For now, this is for you.

*******************************

A Fray

Indeed,
I was close to selling my soul
for a bunch of overused
excessively cheesy words
and a chance to be heard.
But there is a better deal.

A few words
cute me open in a
shameless surrender.

You are as perfect as you are,
and I am as flawed as I am.

*******************************

In case you're wondering, I do write excessively cheesy, mushy, even bitter literary pieces. And I submit them to our school paper.

(Yes, Ghie can think so highly of herself as well. =p)

Shoo

2008-10-30T01:50:00.000-07:00

SHOO!

..bitterness is good.

**

SHOO

And then you glanced.
The same look you had when
I was still under your spell.
Back when I was complete mess
and on an out of body experience.
And then you looked away.
Damn.
I should have looked away first.
And then silence is all we have.
As if it has the capacity to
lighten up the pain.
Shoo. Go away.
I have yet to find my tongue.
Don't talk.
Cause I won't either.

**

This one has umm, I dunno what to call it, if it's a movie, that one ^^ would be the prequel. And just this afternoon, I wrote its sequel. I'll post it some other time. =)

Six-feet under

2008-10-30T01:45:00.000-07:00

Reading it again, I have come to realize that this maybe as well dedicated to my dear friend 'cha'.

Six-feet Under

Enchant me
with your cold touch
that would send this skin
to the graveyard.
Curve this body with your
fingertips
and drain my strength so
you'd have me forever.
The warmth of your beautiful sighs
will never be mine.
Enjoy the moment and
let your lustful laugh
echo throughout the heavens.
And again,
enchnat me with your touch,
push my sould to the edge.
So I'd lie peacefully
six-feet under.

A Petition

2008-10-30T01:29:00.000-07:00

I am posting my absurd (with tinge of bitterness here and there) literary works here because Annel insisted (Screw that. I'm just really proud and I want to rub it all your faces that I have such talent that I share with very few, very magnificent individuals. *evil laugh insert here*)

So, where was I? Oh yeah, this one, I called it 'A Petition'.

A lot of people has asked me (a FAT LIE since no one really bothered to ask me. Tsk. People.) what is my inspiration behind this piece. Simple. Plain. ORGASMS.

I have yet to experience a physical-brought-by-sexual-activity one, yet if you look outside the box, there are little, even odd things that gives us somehow an orgasmic pleasure.

Ghie's e.g. A cup of coffee on a rainy day. *Nescafe commercial insert here* =)

A Petition

Accept me.
This is who I am.
Appreciate me.
I am your fantasy.
Nurture me.
I am fragile and weak.
Love me.
It's the reason of your existence.
Treat me.
The way I deserve to be.

For I only exist in a
millisecond of your happiness.
And before you could even blink,
I'd be long gone.

25 things i STILL wish I could say..

2008-10-27T02:14:00.000-07:00

at work (but these work in regular, day to day life or the internet as well)

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.
2. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
3. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
5. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
6. Ahhh. . . I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. . .
7. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
8. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
9. Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation?
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about your being competent.
11. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
13. What am I? . . . Flypaper for freaks?!
14. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be. . . ?
15. Do I look like a people person?
16. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
17. Sarcasm is just on more service we offer.
18. If I throw a stick, will you leave after it?
19. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
20. Nice perfume (cologne). Must you marinate in it?
21. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
22. How do I set the laser printer to stun?
23. How about never? Is never good for you?
24. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
25. CHAOS, PANIC and DISORDER - my work here is done.

para sa 'yo.. (ang laban na to?)

2008-10-27T01:59:00.000-07:00

lmao.

My very first post.

Is solely dedicated to you.

My ever loving sister.

Annelvie.